Pastiches


Thank you for the music


This was a lyric I wrote for Lenny Henry's show Cradle to Rave that ended up not being used.


Don't know much about melody
Don't know much about harmony
Talkin' 'bout my generation
Talkin' 'bout a revolution
So get on up
To higher ground
You do the hokey-cokey and you turn around
Thank you for the music
Jump up, jump up and get down

I say a little prayer
'Cause I'm the son of a preacher man
But God only knows
I'm losing my religion
So S.O.S.
TLC
And R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Thank you for the music
It's as easy as ABC

Help me Rhonda
And Barbara Ann
Cecelia
And Mrs. Robinson
Billie Jean
And Maybelline
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Thank you for the music
And goodbye Norma Jean

It's a wonderful night for a moondance
By the house of the rising sun
Let's skip the light fandango
'Cause I was born to run
Strike up the band
I wanna hold your hand
Blame it on the jungle boogie wonderland
Thank you for the music
And castles in the sand

Don't stop me now
'Cause I believe I can fly
One day I'll fly away
With Lucy in the sky
Over Blueberry Hill
And Strawberry Fields
River deep and mountain high
Thank you for the music
And bye-bye Miss American Pie

No-one
No-one
No-one
No woman no cry
I'm a soul man
I'm a piano man
I'm a rocket man and Mr. Tambourine Man

Get up
Stand up
Get down
Downtown

Hey Jude
Hey Joe
Hey ya
Halo

Walk the line
Walk on by
Get on up
Kiss the sky

Sex 'n' drugs
Rock 'n' roll
Black or white
Night and day

Yesterday
Holiday
Lovely day
Perfect day

Lean on me
Stand by me
Let it be
Do re mi

Ob-la-di
Ob-la-da
De do do do
De da da da

Tinker, Tailor
Lola, Layla
Money money
Mamma mia

Tutti frutti
Louie louie
Golly Holly
Hello Dolly

Thank you for the music



Chere Mademoiselle Birkin


A Serge Gainsbourg pastiche.


Chère Mademoiselle Birkin,
I confess you me fascine
With your figure féminine.
Je t'en pris, Mam'selle Birkin,

Sois la grenadine in my drink,
L'adrénaline in my veins,
Sois la gazoline in my tank,
La sérotonine in my brain.


Be my mortalized Ondine,
Be my darling Clémentine,
Be my ballerine latine
When we begin the béguine.

Be one moment ma copine,
The next une vraie coquine.
Be first my funny valentine
Before you m'assassines.


Ma chérie Jane,
Don't be a puritaine.
We'll spend semaines
Smoking vingtaines.

From one à la prochaine,
We'll do things inhumaine
Until we turn our love into la haine.


Roll around in some farine,
Spread yourself on my tartine.
Be the gélatine bovine
In my terrine d'aubergine.

Let me run in your collines
And dive into your piscine,
I'll play you like a mandoline
And te lecher comme une vitrine.

You will be my ruine,
Mademoiselle Birkin.


Vocal score



How Much I Mean to Me


A Jimmy Van Heusen/Sammy Cahn pastiche.


You think I’m crazy ‘cause I love you
And think that crazy is your lot.
Then I might add,
A lot of madmen think you’re hot.
More than not.

You say you’ve nothing you can give me
Then go and give me all you’ve got.
Well you know what?
You’ve got a lot more than you think.
Ask a shrink.


You’ve got to love yourself,
Dial your number every hour.
Love yourself,
Go surprise yourself with flowers.

Walk the park at dark then
Carve your name into a tree.
And write yourself a love song called
How Much I Mean to Me.


You don’t believe me that you’re lovely.
I say you’re cute, you run a mile.
What d’you expect
When your reflection never smiles?
Stay awhile.

You try to stand up for your rights, now,
Then let yourself get knocked right down.
Get off the ground,
And get around to having fun.
More than none.


You’ve got to love yourself,
Dance the slow dance all alone.
Love yourself
Tell your friends you’re on your own.

Wait outside your window
For a secret rendezvous
And sing yourself that song about
How much you mean to you.


You think your problems make you complex,
But simple pleasures please you best.
I’ve one request,
You might have guessed,
Do this and I’ll take care of the rest.
I’m obsessed!


You’ve got to love yourself,
Book a dinner date for one.
Love yourself,
Hold your hand and watch the sun.

Go to your own party
As the only invitee,
And listen to that love song called,
How Much I Mean to Me.


I mean,
You’re much
Too much
For me.

That is,
That we
Are meant
To be.

You see?

It’s such
That we
Can’t but
Agree

That we
Must be
As he
And she.

We’re such
A team,
Like A,
B, C,

Or 1,
2, 3.
And do
Re, mi.

Just you
And me.
Why can’t
You see

How much
You mean
To me?


Vocal score